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Jenn In Heat
Does Warm Weather Really Make People Horny?

By Jenn Even

Warm weather is here
It has made me quite horny
I need to have sex

You know it’s serious, and a desperate attempt at remaining rational, when one resorts to writing a Haiku to help cope with horniness. But there it is, in plain Haiku English. And it says everything I have been feeling the last couple of days.

Honestly, I’m not that young anymore. I’ve been out of college for more than four years, and the old adage about spring turning boys (and girls) fancy to sex seems more suited to high school (and perhaps college) students. But here I am, ready to drive by the nearest high school (or college, or construction site) with the convertible top down, wearing Daisy Dukes, trying to get laid.

For those of you living in the south, or southwest, or somewhere outside of the U.S. that is tropical, this column might have less meaning. But us east-coast sorts have always had to deal with this phenomenon. This year, we experienced a horrible winter. Record snowfall, cold temperatures, and perhaps most significant, very few (if any) warm weather breaks. Most winters, we at least get a tease of warmer weather throughout the winter, which might help to keep our hormones somewhat balanced. But this year, it has pretty much been one long winter.

Then suddenly, the cold broke. And now, we are experiencing temperatures close to 70 degrees. It happened quickly, and while many of my male friends were seen dusting off their golf clubs and hitting the driving range, or polishing their cars, my weekend was spent thinking about getting laid. Not just any method, however. I wanted to be outside somewhere, on a deserted beach. Or perhaps a park, under the trees. Somewhere where I feel the breeze and the sunshine, while feeling an artist masterfully playing a concerto between my legs. Okay, I lied. Right now, I don’t care if it’s in a dark, dusty trailer or a small studio apartment with no windows. I just need to get laid.

But before I begin my search for my latest prey, I started wondering whether there was something scientific about why people (and specifically me this year) get hornier when springtime arrives. Is it some hormonal imbalance? Is it sociological? Or is it just nature?

An extensive Internet search could not provide me with a stitch of medical evidence that there is any true chemical reason for the warm weather horny condition. I came across a few lame theories, but none that had enough support to bother quoting here. I did manage to find a survey at www.queendom.com, which asked readers, "How does warm weather affect your sex drive?" The results were rather close between men and women. Among men, 43.5% said it increases, 43.3% said it stays the same, and 13.1% said it decreases. For the women, 42.1% said it stays the same, 40.2% said it increases, and 17.6% said it decreases. There was really nothing surprising or earth-shattering among these results.

Related to this, however, I did discover that millions of people suffer from something known as Seasonal Affective Disorder (S.A.D.), where lower levels of sunlight alter production of brain chemicals and can lead to depression, among other things. It is widely believed that one of the best cures for this condition is simply more sunlight, which often happens when the weather turns warmer, and people begin going outside again.

S.A.D. can perhaps explain some of the issues with spring hormones, but what about the millions of others that do not experience depression during the colder and darker months? It seems ripe for speculation, which I will do here. Sex and attraction are highly visual. When warmer weather arrives, people begin going outside, after spending most of the winter months couped up inside watching TV and seeing their skin turn pale. Once the holidays are over, many people start dieting, and exercising more to be ready for the warmer months. Spring clothes begin appearing in stores, and people want to look good. Some of us start tanning at the salons, and spend longer hours in the gym. Then, all of a sudden, a warm weekend arrives, and we are thankful that we at least started to work on our appearance before the weather turned. For us gals, we see guys wearing less clothing, where their muscles are finally seen again. And the guys are doing manly things, like sports and working on cars or other physical projects. For guys, they begin seeing women walking around, and the women are wearing less and less clothing. Skin begins to appear, followed by the same Daisy Dukes that I am about to test in a few hours! And seeing this after a winter of gloom and doom makes us think about sex.

There are also media driven reasons to associate sex with spring. How many of you have ever gone on a spring break vacation? I have. It’s all about drinking, partying, and sex. Watch MTV, or any news show, and you’ll undoubtedly see reports from spring break locations. And how about those "Girls Gone Wild" videos from spring breaks around the country?

Anyway, my faithful guy and gal readers, there you have it. If you felt hornier this weekend, you are normal. You do not suffer from any chemical imbalance, nor do you have any kind of sexual addiction or affliction that needs help. Like me, you simply need to have sex. You have been couped up too long, and spring brings a new awakening.

Have some great sex, and I’ll try to do the same!

Thankful for AFF! ;)

So, this is completely true, so help me... After 14 years of disappointing sex, if I get it, I decided to poke around to see if I could get my dick wet with a woman who could share in pleasure. During browsing my around on AFF for a week or so, I sent a Wink to this pretty gal a few times, never knowing what was to come. A few days after the second wink, she emailed me asking me for more info. We sent emails a few times, in an attempt to know more about each other, and we added each other to our MSN Messenger accounts. She was a standard member, so she couldn't see my profile, which clearly stated that I was married and seeking a discreet romance.

Well, when I told her about this, she, in a huff, told me that she didn't approve of that, and would have nothing to do with it. I thought that was the end... Nope... A few weeks later she was still on my Messenger and she came online. We had never chatted, so she messaged me asking who I was and why she added me. hehe... I told her, and then she remembered. She had a few little snip comments on being married and cheating, but I came back with, "other peoples shoes always feel funny when you wear them." (meaning judging from afar is very different than living it) She asked for more details and I told her the whole story of me and my wife nearly never having sex, and how my wife does not participate. On top of that, I told her (all true) that I had saved myself for my wife and had never been with another woman. I explained how frustrating it was having saved it and either not getting it or having a "limp fish".

Well, she listened and started asking questions. By the way, it was about 11:pm at this time, and the night before Thanksgiving. My wife was at her mothers house, an hour away, and I was going to meet them there the next day. The house to myself! Well, of course, being so sex deprived, I started to "get my flirt on", and dropped the occasional, "so what are you doing tonight? hehe". I never figured she'd start to work with me. About the second of third time I got, "I think I'll masturbate and go to sleep." I of course replied, "Dude!" (I call everyone dude)... "Dude, I'm way better than a dildo!" Her answer was, "well, it's a vibrator, and I bet you are. Send me some pictures, would you?" I about crapped my drawers! I quickly found some pictures of myself and sent them off. They where nice tame headshots. Then, out of nowhere again she asks, "got any naked ones?" I have a webcam and offered that and I got a "please, please please!!!". How could I say no. I stroked myself a bit to make a good impression, just in case this actually was going somewhere. It was quite an ego boot with all of her appreciative comments. She guessed my length and asked me to stroke it more. I was getting so DAMNED horny I barely stand it. I started really putting on the 'charm' and asking her to come over. I even offered a bar or something 'safer'. She asked my phone number...

Whoa! This was getting serious now. I gave it to her kind of nervous like. She then paused for a long time. No chatting. I thought my crazy fantasy was over. Then after about 5 of the longest damn minutes, she typed, "What part of the city do you live in again?" WHOA! I told her and we figured it was only about 10 miles. She said she'd call and disconnected. Another long damn 10 minutes, then ring! She had the sexiest voice. I nearly orgasmed right there. She did sound uncomfortable though. I assured her that I was no freak. I even offered, at one point, that we call it off, as she was sounding very uncomfortable. In my mind I was thinking, sex would be great, but if I want to have sex with someone who doesn't want to have sex with me, I could just do it with my wife. After about 30 minutes on the phone she started to warm up and laugh at my goofy sense of humor. That was a good sign. Then she said she was going to get in the car and call me, as she got closer. Whoa! Again! I hurried around the house picking up and turning all the pictures of my wife down. I didn't want her to feel too uncomfortable. After all, we were just two 30-something people who needed sex. No use in taking a chance that she'd change her mind if she saw the photos. She got here and we talked for a while. I had offered a back massage to her on the phone, so after some nice conversation, I offered again. She accepted. It was nice to touch her. She had the greatest body. It was pure pleasure for me. In my mind I was saying, "even if I don't get laid, this is nice." Well, after the massage, she sat up. I was still kind of rubbing her head and neck, when I could resist no longer. I sold a very gentle kiss. I think she was uncomfortable again, so I apologized. The looked she gave me, I just had to ask if we could kiss some more.

This seemed to help her comfort. We started slowly. I kissed her neck and lips. It was nice. My wife isn't a kisser either. I missed it, but had forgotten after 14 years. She was an excellent kisser. I was getting very warm. I asked if she minded going and lying on the bed, "Which doesn't mean we are going any further, but it will be SO much more comfortable." She agreed and there we were. And the kissing was getting HOT! Deep penetrating tongues. Nipped lips. I kissed her cleavage. I could feel her body warming to me. My hands started to wonder: breasts, hips, thighs, crotch. She shook when I got to her crotch. I knew where this was going. Just then I said, "I really want to make love to you. May I undress you?" She started unbuttoning her pants. I finished. Her panties were so moist. I took off my pants and shirt. She removed her sweater. In our underclothes we rolled around building up to excitement. I was rubbing her pussy through her panties. I was so hot by now, mt penis was rock hard and she grabbed it through my underwear. That was it. Everything else came off in a flash. My GOD she felt good. So beautiful and so into this. It was incredible for me. I fingered her to get her going. I tasted her from my fingers and it was like wine. I was now completely intoxicated with her. I had to taste more. I lick her and drove my tongue into her until she moaned again and again. Breathing heavy, she grabbed me and pulled me so my penis smoothly slip into her, with a sigh form both of us. So wet, warm and still convulsing form the orgasms. I pumped away for at least another hour as she had orgasm after orgasm. I was in heaven... When I came, the whole world exploded around me. I have never had such an orgasm. I was shaking from exhaustion and pleasure. We just laid there for an hour or so dozing slighting and chatting a bit. It was nearly morning and we both had family obligations. Wow, did we have so much to be thankful for. We cleaned up and dressed. I walked her out and we kissed one last time. I don't expect to see her again, as she still has a moral issue with fooling around with married men, but she has my info and I promised that I'd always be here and "better than a dildo." hehe